I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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