I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
