Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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