We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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