after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
