But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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