quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
