My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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