she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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