Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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