I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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