A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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