my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize