he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize