That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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