Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
