So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
