I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight