you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
