Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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