omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
