According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
