I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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