we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
