and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
