I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
