I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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