just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
