Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
