You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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