So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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