I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
