very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Buhtt sex?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
