Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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