Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize