Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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