Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
