It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
