is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
