The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
