kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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