Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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