Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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