i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
