she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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