No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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