Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize