Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".

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(519): View more from Ontario

I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

(905): View more from Ontario

Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.

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