I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
