In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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