is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
wow bdsm is so cute
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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