i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
