if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
