I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
