why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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