doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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