Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
