I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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