haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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