Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
