I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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